If someone says "I hope I didn't offend you" after giving you their unsolicited advice or negative feedback on something you've said or done, don't say "Oh, no, you didn't offend me." That is a lie.
You did feel offended in the first moments - c'mon, you know you did. That's okay. That's what you're supposed to feel - if you're homo sapien anyway. So, here is a way you might answer so that you are:
1. telling the truth
2. giving permission to the other person to tell their own truth
3. raising everyone's self-awareness and consciousness
4. having a little fun.
5. learning how to be compassionate toward others and yourself
6. all of the above
"Actually, yes, at first I was offended, but of course, that's because I'm human and my ego is involved in most of what I think, say and do everyday." hahahaha (little laughter here to create a level of comfort - hopefully they know what an "ego" is - if not, move on).
"But then" - you say continuing - "I"- now, choose one of the following:
1. "waited until my blood stopped boiling"
2. "stopped cursing you in my mind"
3." took the imaginary hands from around your neck"
4. "was trying to think of a way to make you feel horrible, but thankfully wasn't quick enough and/or
5. all of the above
At this point, you can go on to ask questions of clarification, tell the person that you appreciate his or her feedback, suggest that they've given you something to ponder, say "hmmmmm that's interesting" or another phrase suggesting that you've heard them, or simply say "thank you" or "okay" or whatever ego-free word/phrase seems appropriate.
There. You've just made the world a better place.
Bonnie Bee :)
